I’ve hit a bit of a low today, after a few weeks of feeling pretty much level. I think I understand why it is that my mood has dropped suddenly this time but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
I’ve got a particularly busy week this week. This morning I spent seeking advice regarding my personal finances which, understandably have taken a bit of a knock over the past year. Anything relating to money and/or the lack of it is always rather stressful, and I thought I was handling it all quite well until the black fog started to swirl around again like a bad smell.
Tomorrow, as well as taking my cat to the vets for her annual jabs and a claw trim – something that’s always stressful for all concerned – I also have my first appointment with my local IAPT service to get the ball rolling with my stress management treatment. I know it’s going to help me in the long run. Especially with my imminent return to work, but at the moment it’s the last thing I feel like doing. As it stands at the moment all I actually feel like doing is taking myself to bed for a few days and hiding away from everything that’s out to make my life difficult.
But I can’t do that. Of course I can’t. I’ve made such good progress over the past few weeks and I need to keep building on that.
Yes my return to work is worrying me. Yes my finances are worrying me. Yes my stress management course is worrying me. And yes, my spontaneous trip to London next week is worrying me. Did I mention that? Something for another blog I think.
It’s all about finding a way to work through all of that worry without crumbling at the first hurdle. It would be easy to take the safe route out and hide away but that’s not living is it?
That’s just an existence. Not a life.