I’ve taken myself out of the house this morning for a change. I spend way too much time just hanging around the house on my own and it can’t be healthy for me or good for my generally fragile mindset. So, I’ve come to Starbucks in town. I figured it’s as good a place as any for me to base myself in order to complete my college application and send a few important emails.
So yes, as I approach the milestone age of 40 I’m heading back into education. It’s something that I feel I really need to do in order to make my dream of becoming a paid writer or blogger a reality. I don’t really have any meaningful qualifications you see, having not been at my best during my school years back in the 90’s. Partly this was down to the fact that my secondary school was shit but also down to the fact that I was bullied horrendously during the four years that I was made to go there. I partly blame my school years for my mental health problems in later life. But I don’t want to dwell on that. My counsellor says I need to work on letting go of the past and learn to like myself as a person. No small task when you have over 20 years of anger and resentment bubbling away inside of you but as I said, I don’t want to dwell.
What I’m looking to take on is a 3 year undergraduate degree in creative writing and publishing at the University of Bath. But having spoken with them initially it turns out that I would need to complete a 1 year access to higher education course before I can do that. Simple enough you would think. But no. It turns out that I need to have a GCSE in English or Maths at grade C or above in order to get on the access course. Neither of which I have thanks to my turbulent secondary school years. So I’ve applied to re-take my English GCSE at Wiltshire College, and am also now proceeding with my application for the Access Course at Bath College, with a Maths GCSE running alongside it. That is due to start in September. So I’ve got half a year to get an English GCSE under my belt.
It’s hard to sum up how I feel about returning to education after such a long time away. I guess I’m feeling a little nervous about having to mix with a large amount of people again. Both in terms of working with them and socialising as well. I must bear in mind that the English GCSE will only be 3 hours worth of classes a week so that shouldn’t be too bad. I suppose I’m just a little fearful of becoming overwhelmed with it all. I’ve spent the past 15 months or so mostly in my own company and have become even more introverted than before. I just don’t want my damaged mind to mess things up for me.